Gruß Vom Krampus!
Jolly old Saint Nicholas?
An outdated yuletide hymn —
With more naughty brats than e'er
This season's ripe for him ...
Christ-Mass eve approaches;
Come now feared old goat,
Quit flipping those channels
(Give up that darn remote).
It's all commercials anyhow
After the clock strikes twelve:
Advertising crap to wrap
Like woeful workshop elves.
So stuff these stockings full of coal;
Bad boys and girls beware —
He'll spank you with birch branches
Or box your ears mid-air!
Johnny wants an iPod touch,
Susy's dreaming of VR.
Nellie thinks a 'Selfie Mic'
Will make her a big star.
As for us with half a brain
We still need to smarten ...
Send out our reminder
Via vintage Krampuskarten!
Image: And the Children Shall Inherit the Earth (Krampus) by Chris Buzelli.
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