Gruß Vom Krampus!

Gruß Vom Krampus!


Jolly old Saint Nicholas?
An outdated yuletide hymn —

With more naughty brats than e'er
This season's ripe for him ...

Christ-Mass eve approaches;
Come now feared old goat,

Quit flipping those channels
(Give up that darn remote).

It's all commercials anyhow
After the clock strikes twelve:

Advertising crap to wrap
Like woeful workshop elves.

So stuff these stockings full of coal;
Bad boys and girls beware —

He'll spank you with birch branches
Or box your ears mid-air!

Johnny wants an iPod touch,
Susy's dreaming of VR.

Nellie thinks a 'Selfie Mic'
Will make her a big star.

As for us with half a brain
We still need to smarten ...

Send out our reminder
Via vintage Krampuskarten!

Image: And the Children Shall Inherit the Earth (Krampus) by Chris Buzelli.

Share |

It's Festivus For The Rest of Us!

It's Festivus For The Rest of Us!

Strip down that tinsel tree to its bare aluminum pole.

Behold it has a very high strength-to-weight ratio.

Let the Airing of Grievances commence around the table.

Got a lot of problems with you people, and you're gonna hear about it!

Savor some meatloaf served on a bed of lettuce during dinner.

Up next come Feats of Strength; pin the patriarch or we continue.

Festivus YES — Bagels NO — Hey! No bagel, no bagel, no bagel ...

Don't be two-faced about the whole thing. Stand under good lighting.

If you buy nothing this season, it'll be a Festivus miracle!

All proceeds this year will go to the Human Fund: Money For People.

Share |

Bah, Humbug! (An Xmas Anti-Poem)

Author's Note: For information on the Pagan roots of Christmas, this brief but insightful article is recommended: The Shamanic Origins of Christmas.

Or, for a more in-depth and very eye-opening look, this documentary spells it out perfectly: The Pharmacratic Inquisition.

---

Bah, Humbug! (An Xmas Anti-Poem)

Hum·bug (noun):
1. Something intended to delude or deceive.
2. The quality of falseness or deception.
3. A person who is not what he or she claims or pretends to be; an impostor.
4. Something devoid of sense or meaning; nonsense: a humbug of technical jargon.

- I -

You see, Santa's just another version of the man in the sky;

A magical equation on which they bank for us to buy.

Despite crisis and recession — let childhood desires fly!

Long-standing tradition isn't something we question, why?

- II -

Because the unthinking parent offering their offspring to that secular idol at the mall isn't really doing it for the youngster (who'd be better off given proper guidance) BUT to satisfy their own inner child.

They repeat a cycle of indoctrination into Capitalist customs: Preparing another generation of consumers for dwindling resources (which could run out before we realize it).

- III -

Keep going, it's fine

This world has always been thus

Overbrimming with stupidity

Without shortage of cupidity

Keep towing party line

Present is blessed as future cussed

The dead are unaccountable

For their Humbug, insurmountable!

Image: The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come ...

Share |